Breakups make us feel dazed, crazy, and even sick. Neuroscientists say that the brain goes through a neurological reset when experiencing heartbreak, just like withdrawal from addiction. Rejection pain activates the same brain areas used for physical pain, which results in feelings of distress, anxiety, and irrational behavior.
Research with fMRI scans indicates that a breakup stimulates the ventral tegmental area (VTA)—an area that controls reward and motivation—resulting in a strong desire for the lost relationship. It is no wonder people are unable to get on with their lives, think about their ex every minute, or sabotage themselves.
Further, the prefrontal cortex, which supports regulation of decision-making and reasoning, is also damaged during emotional sorrow. It results in impulsiveness, where one might start sending late-night texts or seeking reconciliation, despite it not being good for one’s self.
Knowledge about the brain and its reaction to heartbreak can enable individuals to better cope with emotional suffering. Practicing self-care, social support, and mindfulness can facilitate healing, enabling the brain to rewire and move on.